Protecting You
by FaithAdeline
Summary: Someone new enters Dean and Sam's life by the name of Alista. Not only is she a half angel, but she's one of the only people that can help them defeat Lilith and save the world from ending. Will she stay and help, or walk away?
1. I

**Chapter 1- Meeting Someone New**

**...**

I watched as the hotel door unlocked, my leg crossed over the other as I lounged in a chair. _Any minute now_, I thought. Finally, the door swung open and the three of them stepped inside, their shoes hitting the carpet heavily. One paused, and I smiled.

"Someone's here," Ruby whispered.

"What?" Dean asked, switching on the light. He and Sam whipped out their guns, their faces showing concern. Ruby stood beside them, her eyes wide.

"You're finally here," I said, standing. My short hair rocked against my neck, the brown locks drying from the rain outside. "I've been following you three buffoons for about three states now. I was wondering when you'd catch on; was pretty surprised when you didn't. And you call yourselves hunters."

Dean cocked his gun, still aiming it at me. "Who are you?" he practically shouted.

"Put your guns down, I'm not here to hurt you." I rolled my eyes, turning my attention to Ruby. "You either. Stop looking so damn scared. It's pathetic."

She straightened, clearing her throat.

Sam and Dean turned to her, their eyebrows arched. She nodded her head. "You can put your guns down. She's...she's not like me."

"So who is she?"

I snapped my fingers, smiling sweetly. "It would be nice to address the person you're speaking of."

Sam chortled, shaking his head in disbelief.

I tilted my head, suddenly catching the sound of beating wings. I inhaled deeply, my eyelids fluttering. The smell of wind, or grace, filled my sense. Castiel and Uriel. Of course. Perfect timing.

"What is she doing?" I heard Dean whisper.

"Tracking," Ruby whispered in reply.

I smirked, my eyes locking on the open door, where the two angels now stood. They looked at me, my heart beating a little faster as Castiel locked eyes with me. I cleared my throat, shaking my head to stop my cheeks from flushing. What was it about the angel that got me so damn...gah! "Well, well, look who has decided to drop by." I teased, walking towards them.

"Tracker," Uriel replied.

"Uriel. I would say it's nice to see you, but lying is a sin, isn't it?"

He shook his head, laughing slightly. "I see you haven't changed, though it's been years since I've seen you last."

"Not long enough," I murmured, walking behind them, my fingers trailing along Castiel's jacket. I smiled as I felt him stiffen, holding back a laugh. Deciding not to torture him any longer, I said, "So, what brings you two by?"

"The same that brings you here, Alista." Castiel replied.

I put my head between theirs, smiling at the Winchester boys. "Kodak moment?" I teased.

"Would someone tell us what the hell is going on?" Dean asked, sitting on one of the hotel beds.

I sighed and made my way back around the angels, frowning. "You sure know how to ruin a girl's fun."

"I think you're the only one who thinks the situation is 'fun'," Uriel pointed out.

"You three are the only ones who know what the situation is." Sam responded, sitting beside his brother.

Castiel stepped fully into the room, his jacket billowing around his legs. "Lilith is in town."

Ah...man of few words. Just what I liked.

"So, what seal are we supposed to prevent her from breaking now?"

_My time to step in. _I stepped into the room, leaving Uriel behind. "None. She has twenty other demons with her, most of them powerful sons 'a' bitches. You two, three including your loyal pet Ruby, aren't doing a damn thing. Get in your shiny, pretty car, and drive out of town." I told them, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Are you sure there are twenty?" Castiel asked.

I nodded my head, arching a brow. "Doubting me, Cass? When have I ever been wrong?"

He just looked at me. Sometimes I wished the man would shrug his shoulders. "They might help."

I laughed, brushing a hand through my hair. "Doubt that."

Uriel walked towards me, his head tilted. "You certainly are prideful for what you are."

"What is she?" Dean exclaimed, practically slamming his fist atop a night table by the bed.

I stared at him. He was pretty good looking...they would've loved him in Hell. "Pushy." I picked a piece of lint off my pants and then sighed, figuring the angels were waiting for me to dive in. "My father was an angel, my mother a human." I stated.

"You're...a nephilim?" Sam asked, looking at me with a confused face.

"I know. Bible describes as being giants, so I should be taller, right? Because five feet ten inches isn't tall enough for you."

He opened his mouth to respond, but I held up my hand and stopped him.

"Yes, I'm telling the truth. Just ask the lovely angels. Isn't it right, Castiel?"

He shook his head in agreement, his face stern. "It's true."

"We killed most of the other nephilim, but Alista was...special. The Lord wanted us to spare her life, have her help us track down humans. After all, angels don't walk amongst humans normally. We watch... She was our...hmm, what word would you use, Alista?"

"Spy." I stated, patting Uriel on the shoulder. "Good boy. You actually managed not to mention your strong dislike towards me in those few sentences. I'm proud of you."

"_You're_ an angel?" Dean questioned, shaking his head and laughing softly. "Wow."

I scowled, facing him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't seem very...angelic," Sam answered for him.

"Half angel. I won't become a full angel until I'm dead. Or I do something so bad I fall. One of the two. I'm really hoping it's the first though."

"So...when were you born?"

I looked over his shoulder at Ruby, smiling cheerfully. "Let's just say, I know your little friend Ruby from a long time ago. When her name wasn't Ruby."

Both of the brothers' eyes opened wide and they turned to her. She bit her lip, shrugging her shoulders.

"Keep the brothers here, Alista." Castiel told me strongly. "You might need them. This seal-"

"What is the seal? We're still in the dark." Dean said, brushing a hand over his face. I watched as he took out a beer from a mini-fridge, practically drinking half of it in a second.

"Ever hear of Pandora's box?" I asked, kicking back a seat on the chair I'd been lounging on before they'd arrived.

"Pandora's box? As in, open it and the world is enveloped in chaos?"

"That's the one. It's pretty much the same, except there's a pendant and a bit more chaos. I'm talking bloodier, nastier monsters than just world diseases. Shit you wouldn't even want in your worst nightmare." I looked at Cass and Uriel and sighed. "You think they can handle Lilith this soon? Fine, I'll keep pretty boys in town. But, stay near. If I need you guys, I'm calling."

"We're not your watchdogs," Uriel told me.

"We'll be here," Cass replied, eyeing Uriel.

I smiled and walked up to him, smoothing his collar down. "Thanks, Cass."

He nodded his head, swallowed, and then backed up. I watched as he flew off with Uriel, still amazed at their beautifully black wings. How I wanted my own set. I couldn't wait. I turned around, looking at the three people stationed around the room. I yawned, more tired than I thought I'd be. I closed the door and began to lie on the floor, stretching my limbs out. Ruby was still keeping away, looking at me carefully. "Don't worry, Ruby. I won't bite." I joked, lying down.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked.

"Going to sleep. You have a bed, and I'm assuming the other two share one. So, I'll sleep on the floor."

"Why don't you just rent your own room?"

"Because Lilith knows I'm here by now, as she knows you three are. And I'm not letting you three get killed while I'm here."

"Why not?"

I glared at him, my shirt inching up a little higher as my jeans crinkled. I kicked my boots off, declaring them too uncomfortable to sleep in. "You ask too many questions."

"Part of why I'm still alive."

I shook my head. "No, you're alive because an angel dragged you out of Hell."

He grumbled something under his breath and then stood, sitting on the chair I'd been in. "Go on the bed. I'll be fine here."

"Hmm, Dean, such a charmer." I held out my hand, grinning as he helped me off the floor. "You sure? We could share. I won't try anything, promise."

"Yeah, looks like she's got the hots for a certain angel." Sam spoke up, lying down with Ruby next to him. The sight made me...shudder. Only because of how utterly sad it was. A big bad demon huddled with a human. Gag me.

"Shut up, demon blood." I yawned, lying down on the bed. _Hmm, much better._ I felt the bed dip as Dean lay beside me, making sure to keep his distance.

"Both of you shut up," he said, closing his eyes.

Ruby shut the lights off and we all settled down. I could still see perfectly, thanks to the angel juice running through my veins. "We still have more questions, I hope you know. One being how you're still alive if you were born centuries ago." Sam said, Dean nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, that's kinda fucked up."

"Tomorrow. Too tired now, too complicated. Go to sleep." I closed my eyes, immediately imagining Castiel and his black wings. _Hmm...lovely dreams tonight. _

* * *

**A/N: I know, I totally shouldn't be starting another fanfic while I have like three Twilight ones to finish, but this one was begging to be written. Plus, I can't watch Supernatural for like...a month and a half. So, I'm writing it. :) Hope everyone that checks it out likes it! Leave some love, I'd love to hear what you think.  
Faith**


	2. II

**Chapter 2- Can you see me?**

**...**

It was late in the middle of the night when I woke to the sound of wings fluttering. I groaned, sitting up on my elbows and glancing at the hotel room's alarm clock. It was three fifteen in the morning...too early for me to be awake. I yawned, getting out of the bed quietly so as not to wake Dean, who was sleeping soundly next to me. Seeing as how I was still in my shirt and jeans, I threw on my boots and opened the door, peeking out. I inhaled, smelling the sweet night air. Around me, snow fell gently. It was a wonderful Christmas setting. Of course, Christmas didn't mean as much when you had no one but the occasional supernatural creature to spend it with. Sigh.

I spotted Castiel standing next to a large willow tree, his hands in his pockets and his gaze on the night sky. I walked towards him, my boots clicking on the pavement. Right before I reached him, he turned and looked at me. My breath hitched in my throat and I coughed, scowling inwardly. "Didn't I just see you?" I asked, noticing how cold it was. I knew I should've grabbed a coat before leaving my house to track Lilith and the brothers. I crossed my arms over my chest, tapping my foot to keep my body moving.

"I wanted to thank you for including the brothers. I know Raphael told you to try and make them leave." He stated, looking at me intensely.

I nodded my head, laughing. "Yeah, Raph told me they're more trouble then they're worth."

"So why haven't you made them leave?"

I licked my lips, shrugging my shoulders. "I dunno. I mean...I guess I could _maybe_ use the help. I haven't seen Lilith in centuries; it's been a while since I've gone up against a demon of her stature. I'm rusty."

The corner of his lip quirked into an almost smile. "And? I know there's another reason."

I clicked my tongue against the roof of my mouth and sighed, watching my breath condense in the frigid air. "And...the same was said about me once. And you stuck up for me, so...yeah. Guess I'm returning the favor?"

He shook his head, pushing off the tree, starting to walk to an empty alley beside the motel. I frowned, wondering where he was going. He stopped suddenly, swiveling around so fast I almost ran into him. Luckily, my eyes were able to detect his movement and I stopped right in time. "It's strange...how human you are."

I paused, unsure of what to say. "I..._am_ human."

"But you're one of us too. You're an angel, Alista. The blood that runs through your veins is coated in grace...yet you still remain so..._mortal._ The Lord...I think you're here for a reason." He exhaled, looking down at the ground. "I can't express myself like this...it's much easier in my normal form."

"As a big ball of light?" I teased.

He nodded his head, not even gracing me with a laugh...tough crowd.

"Don't worry, Cass. I get what you're saying, I think. You're surrounding my angels with large sticks up their asses; you're surprised I've been able to retain my mortality for so long. You're surprised the angel in me hasn't killed the human in me."

"Yes, that sounds about right. Although mine was far less...vulgar."

I laughed, shoving my hands under my armpits to keep them from going numb. "Yes, well, it's a struggle. Believe me. There are times when I'm executing a demon when I'm not sure I can go back. Like I'll just...angel out or something."

He just kept looking at me, as if he could see deeper inside myself than I could. "Can you see me?" he asked softly.

"You're standing right in front of me." I answered, arching a brow.

"No...I mean, can you see _me?_ The true Castiel?"

I looked at him, sighing. He'd been asking me the same thing for years. "No, Cass. I can't see angels. Not their true forms. I can smell you, though that sounds much more strange than saying I can see you."

He took a step closer, putting a hand on my cheek. "I can see you," he said quietly.

I could feel his breath on my cheek, my knees quivering. "You never told me that before."

"You never asked."

I closed my eyes, trying to remain patient. "What do I look like?" But when I opened my eyes, he was gone. I huffed, stomping my foot against the ground. "Just so you know, I hate when you do that!" I yelled.

I turned on my heel and headed back to the room, thoroughly frozen. When I managed to stop shaking long enough to grasp the door handle and swing the door open, I was shocked to find an hour had passed. I thought back to a time when Castiel had told me time doesn't exist anywhere save for our universe. That where he lived, Heaven, time was a notion laughed at.

I walked across the room, kicking my boots back off and sitting on the chair. I couldn't sleep now...I was wide awake. I sighed and flicked on a small light, my eyes falling upon the sleeping humans. I noticed Ruby was sleeping also...wondering what the demon did when the human host slept. Strange thought.

As if she could feel my gaze, she said, "I can't sleep. I pretend to every night, hoping one night it'll happen."

"That sucks."

"Yeah," she whispered, falling quiet again.

I sat there until the sun started to rise, going over my plan in my head as I nosed through the Winchester's weapons. Then, I stood, putting my boots back on and heading outside.

...

"Wakey, wakey!" I crooned, my coffee warm in my hand. I ran a hand through my short hair, grunting when neither of the brothers moved.

Ruby was inspecting my new coat, which I had bought before getting the coffee, with envy. "Nice jacket," she told me.

"Yeah, I had a little bird flew home and grab some of my money, seeing as how I'm running out." I clapped my hands, shouting, "Hey! Get your asses up!"

Sam opened his eyes, took one look at me, and then rolled over. Dean at least had the decency to yell, "I'm still sleepin'!" before he rolled over.

I groaned, placing my coffee down and trying to figure out what I was going to do. Then, a wicked smile spread across my face. "Quick! You overslept! Lilith is getting ready to open the seal!"

They both shot up, their eyes wide awake. "What?" They both asked, looking concerned.

I smiled, handing them both coffee. "Yay, you're up."

Dean took his coffee, his eyebrows scrunched. "What about Lilith?"

I looked at him over my coffee, shrugging my shoulders. "Had to get you both up somehow. Lazy asses. I've been up since dawn. Now, get dressed. We have to figure out where she is."

Sam stood, glaring at me. "Can't you just sniff her out?"

I rolled my eyes, sitting and tossing one of Dean's daggers up and down. "I know _where_ she is. What I mean is, we need to find out where the pendant is before she gets it. Clearer for you?"

"Crystal," Dean replied, standing up and grabbing his dagger while it was mid-air. "Don't play with the weapons."

I frowned. "You're no fun."

"Seeing as how the world could be ending, I think it's justified."

I looked at the dagger, making it fly out of his hands. He stumbled backwards, his eyes wide. "World isn't ending today," I responded, going back to what I was doing.

"H-how did you do that?" he questioned me, regaining some of his composure.

"I'm a half angel...I can do more than sniff out demons and angels, Dean. I mean...really. Come on, now. Use that little brain of yours." I held my hand up, freezing the dagger as it twirled a couple inches before me. Then, I moved my hand to the side and watched as it stabbed the wall near Sam.

He jumped back, cursing as he spilled some of his coffee. "Why are you throwing it at me?"

"Because, I don't like you as much as your brother yet." I answered honestly.

"I don't know who should be more scared: me or Sam." Dean said, grabbing some clothes before heading into the bathroom.

I laughed, waving the knife back into my hands. Oh yeah...we'd all be best friends in no time.

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter, cause I'm in love with this story. Which probably has to do with my being in love with the show and actors :) Hope everyone who has checked this out has enjoyed it. Leave me a note, I'd love to know what you guys think!  
Faith**


	3. III

**Chapter 3- Shotgun**

**...**

The boys were dressed and ready to go. It was about time; I'd been going out of my mind with boredom while waiting for them. Ruby wasn't any fun. She practically cowered in a corner. Pathetic.

We all stepped outside, snow still falling. Dean grunted and started to wipe off his car, which was actually a pretty smooth looking ride. "Do I have to sit in the back?" I asked Dean.

"Yes," both Dean and Sam replied.

"Aw, why?"

"Because I'm always shotgun." Sam answered easily.

I opened the back door and immediately smelled angel. Smirking, I looked at Dean.

"What? Why are you grinning like that?" he asked, looking confused.

"Oh, no reason. I was just thought I smelled something. That's all." I slid into the car, knowing all about Anna. I stored away the information, knowing I'd find time for blackmail later. I patted to the seat next to me, laughing as Ruby just looked at me and the seat. "I've already told you, I'm not here for you. You don't have to be so damned scared, although it makes for great entertainment."

"Ruby, just get in the car," Sam told her tiredly.

"You haven't seen what she can do to demons," she snapped, narrowing her eyes. "And I know you never care about who you're supposed to be tracking. You'll kill any demon you come across."

"Usually true. But, if that were the situation now, why are you still alive?"

"I-I don't know."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, laying my head against the back of the seat and closing my eyes. "Just get in the fuckin' car."

She did so, making sure to stay an inch or two away from me. Music poured from the radio, some old rock from the seventies. I leaned forward, my face between the brothers. "So, where do you two plan on driving?"

"Sit back, you're in my way." Dean said, trying to look past me to back out.

I moved my shoulder so I was pressed against the window, still facing him. "So? Care to answer this century?"

He sighed and glared at me in the rearview mirror. "Well, I figured you'd tell us where to go, seeing as how you can smell them out and all. Make yourself useful."

"I'll have you know, I'm plenty useful. And where they are now matters none. It's where they're _going_ we need to know. And, while I can do a lot, I can't predict the future."

"So we corner Lilith now and kill her before tonight. You know where she is, we can-"

I cut him off, shaking my head. "No, she's got protection. Who knows how long she's been here. And seeing as how I'm sure she knows I'm in town, she'll be covering her ass. It'd be better if we show up tonight where they're not expecting us. Charging in with guns drawn isn't the answer."

"Then what is? Hope we find the right place and wait like sitting ducks?" Sam asked, his jaw clenching.

I thought about it, tilting my head. "Yup, that sounds about right."

He groaned, hitting his head against the headrest. "I'm really questioning people's faith in God and angels."

"Don't say that so loud, the big man upstairs will hear and you're already on his naughty list. Let's not get yourself on the Hell list, hmm?" I told him, patting his shoulder.

"Knock it off," Dean replied, looking back and forth between us.

"Go to the town's library," I told him, ignoring his comment. I'm good at that; ignoring people.

"Why?" Sam questioned. As if I had been talking to him.

"Because this town is small, therefore, all of its history is going to be complied in that library. The pendant was made by the town's founder to lock in five of the most insane demons there are. Ever seen Hercules? Know the four or five large Titans locked in a fiery pit? Think of these demons as those Titans. The pendant is the key to lock them in, and unlock them in return. Lilith gets the key-"

"She sets the demons free," Dean replied grimly.

"That would be correct. They go free, we're as good as fucked. I'm talking insane ass demons here. They've done some disgusting things that make your time in Hell look tame."

"Well, then, we have to find the pendant. Don't we?"

"We do."

"Alright...library it is."

...

I peered over the piles of books I had in front of me, bored out of my mind. I really wasn't a research sort of girl. It was completely and utterly boring. I'd much rather filet someone. It was tons more fun, and _way _more productive. "You guys see anything?" I asked, peering over my shoulder.

Dean threw the book he had been reading down, rubbing his temple. "Not a damn thing," he said.

"Me either," Sam sighed. "Do we even know what this pendant looks like?"

"Yeah, let me just dig out the picture of the pendant that's been locked up for centuries, hold on." I replied sarcastically. "Only a handful of people have seen it."

"Well...we're fucked," Dean said. "'Cause we can't find a damn thing."

I smiled, standing up and sliding my coat back on. I knew where to go. "There's a cemetery about twenty miles from here," I said, wrapping a scarf around my neck. "There might be something there."

Sam laughed, looking at me as if I was a child. "Yeah, unless you can talk to ghosts, I doubt the cemetery is going to help."

I kept the smile on my face and said, "Let's go. Chop chop. Ain't nothing helping us here."

By the time we were all finally in the car, I could've walked to the damn cemetery. It took me at least ten minutes to get the brothers off their asses. In the end, Ruby was the one to tell them that I could, in fact, see ghosts. Much to their surprise. Dean's old school rock was still playing on the stereo, and I was a bit sick of it. So, I leaned over and switched the channel, stopping on a new Beyoncé song that made my foot tap. Dean gave me an evil glare and said, "No one touches the radio but me."

"Whatcha gonna do about it?" I asked, daring him on.

His eyes narrowed and he switched the channel back, arching his brow.

I laughed, shaking my head. "I like you," I said, sitting back.

He shook his head and sighed, slouching in his chair. He obviously thought his music was safe. Wrong. I mentally changed it, laughing even harder at the look on his face. Ah...hunters; they were so entertaining.


	4. IV

**Chapter 4- Losing Grace**

**...**

The cemetery was quiet, the only people being us four. Snow crunched under our feet, and the pine trees surrounding us were covered with white. I looked around as I walked up to the mausoleum where the founder and his family were buried. "Come on," I whispered, rubbing my hands together. "There has to be _someone_."

"Spirit world not up for a chat?" Sam asked, like the ass he was.

"Shut up before I turn you into a toad," I muttered, keeping my eyes to the area around the mausoleum. I walked towards the building that held the bodies of the founder and his family. The door creaked as it opened, like it would in a cliché horror movie. I blew the cobwebs away. They probably flew right into the boys-who were following me with guns drawn. The founder's part of the wall was the largest. Engraved onto his name plate was the tiniest of diamonds. I looked at it, about to try and remove it.

Then I heard Sam say, "Why aren't you in here with us, Ruby?"

"I can't come in," she answered.

I stopped, suddenly feeling the soft hum of magic surrounding me. "He put a spell around the mausoleum," I said, backing away from the diamond. "Demons can't enter."

Before I knew what was happening, Ruby was thrown backwards. I pulled the boys behind me, my hands immediately glowing with a warm, blue light. I could feel Dean's and Sam's stares, but ignored them. The scent of demons was in the air, and I knew they were everywhere around us.

"And here I thought you would make this easy on us," Lilith said, stepping into view. A smirk graced the lips of the little girl she appeared as before us. "Hello, Tracker."

The blue light grew stronger, and it started to travel towards Lilith, seeking her essence. If I could send her to Hell now, it would all be over. It wrapped around her, traveling around her body. But, instead of ripping the demon from the body, the light broke. "What?" I said, trying to get the light to grow again. Lilith laughed and held out her hands, her eyes turning white. Suddenly, a pain I never knew came upon me. It felt like someone was ripping me to pieces. I fell to my knees, screaming. Dean and Sam grabbed my shoulders, holding me upright-their eyes closed.

The pain was unbearable, and I thought I would either pass out or die from it. My body was on fire, and I was tearing apart. The light drained from me, leaving me breathless and empty. Lilith held out a small vial and my light, my grace, was sucked inside. She closed it, trapping it inside.

Tears streamed down my face. She laughed like what she had just done was the funniest thing in the world. "H-how?" I stammered, trying to get to my feet.

Somehow, by using my grace, she stepped inside the mausoleum. Before she could get close to us, the wall behind us blew to pieces. The boys huddled over me, Dean's leather jacket practically covering me. I looked over his shoulder, meeting Castiel's eyes. He looked at me with sorrow, and I pleaded at him with my eyes. I couldn't lose my grace. I wouldn't survive without it.

Lilith growled, her eyes on the angels.

Castiel walked to my side while Uriel stepped in front of us. I took Cass' hand, leaning on him for support. He was stiff beside me, yet held me tightly. I saw the demons outside the mausoleum, waiting for Lilith.

Uriel outstretched his hand, ready to do what I had tried (and failed) to do. But, Lilith merely laughed and waved her hand-throwing Uriel out of the hole they'd made in the mausoleum. She looked at Castiel, as if daring him to make a move. He just stayed by me, watching as she removed the diamond from the name plate. In her hands, it grew larger, forming the pendant.

"Come after me now, Tracker," she said. Tucking the pendant into her jean pocket, she tied my grace around her neck. Then, she disappeared, the rest of the demons fading away.

I looked at Castiel, gripping his coat in my fingers. "What do I do?" I asked, my hands turning white. "Cass, what do I do?"

He sighed, turning me so I was facing him. "Don't worry...this was meant to happen."

"W-what the _hell _are you talking about? You _knew_ this would happen?" I backed away, my mouth open in shock. "Why the fuck didn't you warn me?"

He winced, like he always did when I swore. "The gifts you received as an angel weren't the only gifts you had, if you remember. You'll get your grace back, with those gifts."

I frowned, shaking my head. "That's never going to work. I haven't used it without a little angelic help in centuries. I'll never be able to move anything without help!"

"That's not true. The Lord has faith in you. You have to get that pendant back."

I rolled my eyes and backed out of his embrace, steady once more on my feet. "I don't understand why it had to be taken in the first place. Do you know how I feel?" I gestured towards myself, trying not to cry. "There's...there's a piece of me missing, and I can feel it."

"I'm sorry," he said. I could see the pain in his eyes, and knew he was telling the truth. But that didn't make me feel any better.

I saw Uriel climbing back into the mausoleum out of the corner of my eye. He brushed off his clothes, his lips twisted in hatred. "If you had your grace, they would've been able to sense you a mile away. But now, they won't be able to sense you." He said, turning his attention towards me. "You can surprise them, get the pendant, and get your grace back."

I stormed out of the building, angry they had allowed this to happen. Usually, I tried to control my human feelings, but now I let them run rampant. No matter how childish they seemed. The boys and Ruby followed, their glances wary. I groaned, whipping around and facing the angels. "How did she do it? How did she rip my grace out?"

Castiel exchanged a glance with Uriel, and I knew they weren't going to tell me.

But I wasn't going to settle for that. "No! No secret glances. Tell me what you fuckin' know! I _deserve_ to know." I looked up at the sky, making sure the big man upstairs heard. "How did she do it?"

Castiel sighed. "We think an angel has been helping Lilith and her followers."

"Wouldn't God know if one of his angels was helping?" Dean asked for me.

I chuckled bitterly when I saw Cass look to the ground. "So many secrets," I said. I turned to Dean, smiling brightly. "There's rumored to be a place where angels and demons can go, where they won't be heard by any other angel or demon. Including God. So, he wouldn't know. Guess it wasn't such a rumor."

"So, have someone stake out the place-" Sam began.

I shook my head. "Won't work. They'd know someone was there."

"Have you been there?" Dean questioned.

"I just said that up until now the place has been a rumor. So, no, I haven't been there." Yeah, I was being bitchy...but I felt I had all the right to be a little snappish. I felt the angels leave behind me, only barely able to hear the flap of their wings. Cass probably didn't enjoy my loose lips, but I didn't care. I took a deep breath, telling myself that I would get my grace back, even if it killed me. "Come on. I have to relearn everything I was taught as a child."

"And just how long is that going to take?" Dean asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders, opening the car door and sliding onto the backseat. "As long as it takes, I guess."

...

I was sick. I had been a full human for less than an hour, and I had caught a cold. _I'm going to kill someone. _I blew my nose and took a sip of tea, which Ruby had made me. I think she felt bad about what had happened. It was nice of her. I hadn't expected it. She really _was _a pansy demon. I stared at the water, willing it to move in my mind. My head started to hurt, and I felt the tiniest drop of blood trickle down from my nose. My brain wasn't used to exerting itself so much. It was much easier to manipulate life when you had grace to back you up.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked, staring at me. Dean was too busy cleaning his guns to worry about me. And Ruby was still keeping her distance.

"Trying to move the water," I said, biting my lip.

"Why?"

I groaned, resisting the urge to throw my tea at him. "Come on! Why do you think, dumbass?" I shouted, standing to my feet. A cough broke from my lips and I hunched over, my nose dripping. Jesus, I was miserable. "Nowadays, people call the ability to manipulate things around them telekinesis. But, sometimes it goes farther than just being able to move things a single thought. In some cases, you can bend and manipulate the inanimate and animate object to change however you need it to."

"How?" Dean spoke up from where he sat.

"I have no clue. All I know is that I can make a soft, fleece blanket into a knife. Takes too much energy though. I tend to just throw things around by will." I turned my attention back to the water, wishing it to move. It didn't do a damn thing. "Holy shit, I'm rusty," I whispered.

"Shouldn't this be easy for you, seeing as how you've had the ability since the plague ravaged through the streets of Europe?" Sam asked sarcastically.

I looked at him, my eyes narrowed. "I _really _don't like you."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to winchesterxgirl and Mrs Bass-Malfoy for reviewing. Hope everyone who reads enjoys this chapter. Let me know what ya think!  
Faith**


	5. V

**Chapter 5- I Put A Spell On You**

**...**

It took me a day and a half, but I _finally _manipulated the water, watching as it moved back and forth in the cup as I willed it to. I laughed and resisted the urge to clap my hands. After the excitement wore off, I realized how freakin' tired I was. I sat back in my chair, putting the cup down in front of me. Sam scoffed, shaking his head. "You moved water, good for you. I doubt that being able to move _water _is going to help us with Lilith though."

I smiled and raised my hand, the water rising with it. Then, I flicked it towards him, manipulating the molecules so it froze on his skin on contact. He jumped up, cursing. I laughed, watching with amusement as he tried to get the ice off his chest. Standing up, I walked towards him, placing my hand on his neck. I looked at the water, the molecules buzzing underneath my fingertips. It melted, running down his skin as liquid. "What was that? I couldn't hear you over the sounds of your defeat." I said, willing his arm to rise above his head.

He stared at me in surprise, trying to lower his arm.

"Won't work." I bent his arm, practically able to feel the muscles and bones.

Dean sighed, taking out his gun and pointing it at me. "Let him go," he said, looking tired.

I rolled my eyes, releasing Sam from my grasp. But, I didn't let him off so easy. When he turned to say something to Ruby, I pushed him. It was funny watching him land on the ground with a thud. "No need to pull out the guns, I wasn't going to kill him. Jesus, you're paranoid."

"I've told you before, it comes with the job." He lowered the gun and handed it to me, which only earned an arched brow from me. "You should have more protection that just your mind."

I shrugged my shoulders, taking the gun from him. It was smooth, sleek in my hands. Just heavy enough. It fit perfectly in my palm. I grinned. "I like this," I said.

"Have you ever shot before?"

"No, not really."

"Wonderful," he whispered. He stepped behind me, putting his hand by mine and showing me how to work the gun. I listened intensely, amazed at the little weapon in my hands.

I turned my head so I could see him behind my shoulder. "You rely on guns like I rely on magic."

"Guns keep me alive," he said.

"Have you ever killed an innocent creature before?" I asked, because I was curious.

"Don't know. Have you?"

I smiled. "I don't think demons are innocent."

He nodded his head. He sat on the bed, looking at us. "So? What's the plan?"

I sat next to him, shrugging my shoulders. "Haven't thought that far ahead, actually."

"Wonderful," Sam muttered. "We'll just wait for Lilith to politely hand us back your grace, along with the pendant."

I ignored him, which wasn't hard. "There's no way for me to sense where she is now, but I think I know a way to get her to come straight to us." It was a crazy idea, one that would probably result in Lilith hating me even more...but I would do anything to get my grace back. Including pissing off one semi-scary demon. Well...she was more annoying than scary. One huge pain in the ass, really.

"Why do I have the feeling I'm not going to like what you're about to propose?" Dean questioned.

I blew my nose, my cold starting to go away. I had a better immune system without my grace than I had thought. "Because you're not."

I told him anyways. Not leaving out a single detail. Afterwards, the three of them stared at me like I'd grown three heads.

"You want to send Lilith haunting images of her dead mother?" Sam asked incredulously.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, that seems about right."

"And she's going to know it's you because...?"

"Because I'm the only one in town stupid enough to attempt it."

"I'd say."

I glared, and turned to Ruby. "Think you could help me?" The words almost didn't come out. I couldn't believe I had resorted to asking a _demon_ to help me. _How the mighty have fallen. _

"Hell no," Ruby said, shaking her head. "She finds out I helped with that, she'll torture me more than she plans to now. I don't think so. You're on your own."

I was about to reply, when I heard Dean ask, "What do you need to do this?"

Sam looked at his brother. "You're actually going along with this?"

"If Alista thinks it'll work, why not? We need that pendant, Sam-"

"How can you trust her-"

"We have no other plans here, Sam! We have no way of knowing where Lilith is, or where she's going to be. Unless you have a better idea, we're going along with Alista's."

I stared at him, shocked. "Wow, fighting over lil' ol' me? You shouldn't." I replied, to ease the tension in the room.

Dean faced me, his hazel eyes showing how little amusement he felt. "Shut up."

I mimed locking my lips and throwing away the key. The man meant business.

"Now, what do you need?"

...

Staring over the cauldron (pot doesn't sound as witchy no matter how you put it), I watched the liquid bubble. I resisted the urge to quote Macbeth, instead opting to turn to the boys and say, "There's nothing like a good spell in the morn', aye," in my best Irish accent.

"You're strange," Dean told me.

"Dun' forget beautiful." I sang, stirring my concoction. When it came to a full boil, the motel room smelling of various herbs and spices, I poured the liquid into a glass vial. Usually, this was a harmless "spell", used to bring people good dreams of old memories. But, I was twisting it to make it to make it a nightmare.

"And how do you plan on getting that near Lilith?" Sam asked.

"Magicians never reveal their tricks, Samuel." I teased, fluttering my eyelashes.

He rolled his eyes.

"_I put a spell on you, and now you're mine_." I sang, throwing my coat on. "Come on, boys. You don't want to miss the show."

* * *

**A/N: Thanks to the following for reviewing: SexySadie88, Mrs Bass-Malfoy, winchesterxgirl, and ****makeyafamous. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story, as is anyone who's added to their alerts. Thanks so much! Let me know what ya think :)  
Faith**


	6. VI

**Chapter 6-Retaining What's Lost**

**...**

I walked along the cobble-stoned path, humming underneath my breath. "Ya know, for being in such good shape, y'all are slow." I told the boys.

"Why are we back in the cemetery?" Sam asked from behind me.

"It's easier to send things to hallowed ground."

Before either of them could enquire what I meant, I sat beside an old gravestone, beginning to draw a circle around it and myself. The snow was cold on my ass, but I learned to ignore it pretty quickly. I felt the boys fall in line behind me, watching what I was doing. Muttering a few Latin phrases, I waited for the bones to arrive. Sure enough, a moment later, the popped into existence.

I turned when I heard Dean jump back, a slew of curse words falling from his mouth. "What the hell was that!" he exclaimed.

I faced the bones, smiling. "I called in a favor. These lovely bones you see before me, are the bones of Lilith's mother."

"That has to be impossible," Sam said.

"You'd be surprised what a little magic can do." I told him, spilled the "potion" I'd made onto the bones. They glowed in light blue hues. Blood, being one of the only things to bind a spell, was needed. So, I cut into my arm, watching as a few drops hit the glowing bones.

"What now?"

"Now, we wait." I said, standing. The air was cold, a strong breeze blew my hair about. I put my hands underneath my armpits, trying to warm them up. It felt like I wasn't even wearing a coat.

"Nothing's happening," Sam said impatiently.

"It will. Now shut up."

He didn't, of course not. That would've been too easy. No, he spent the time talking about how they never should've listened to the angels or to me, and that they should've gone after Lilith as soon as they knew she was in town.

"She would've slaughtered you," I told him. "You may not believe me, because you're an idiot, but it's the truth."

He started to argue, his voice growing louder as I ignored him. I held up a hand, listening to the breeze. I could hear it. The slightest whisper of a voice. It grew stronger, eventually sounding like the person it was. I watched as a figure shimmered to life in front of me, gazing at me with wide, black eyes. Her mouth gaped open, and a raggedy breath escaped past her cracked lips. Blood dripped down the side of her mouth.

"Find Lilith," I instructed her.

"Lilith," she rasped. "Daughter."

"Yeah. Demonic daughter. Right. Find her, and I want you to show her your death. Understand me?"

She tilted her head to the side. "Why?" she croaked.

I rolled my eyes. "Listen, Casper. This is how shit works here. I raise you up, you find me, you do my bidding, you go back to whichever spirit world ya came from. I'm assuming you're still in purgatory, seeing as how you look like complete and utter crap."

She didn't say a word. She merely disappeared into the night, leaving behind the faintest hints of sulfur.

I frowned. "Is it possible to hurt a ghost's feelings? Cause I think I just did. Huh."

"You expect that thing to be able to find and scare Lilith?" Sam asked, not bothering to hide his laugh.

"Yes. And she will. It's what I brought her here to do. She has to."

"You can't think this is going to work."

"Oh, ye of little faith, you shall soon see."

Ruby backed up, her eyes black. "I'm getting out of here. I don't want to be seen-"

"Go," I said, "you're not needed here anyways. I got everything under control."

She nodded her head, starting to walk away.

"Hey! Catch-" I threw the bag I'd had in my pants pocket to her. "Should keep you invisible long enough to get you far away from here. Worked good enough for me."

She looked at it, smiling softly. "Thanks."

"Yup. Told you I wouldn't kill you. Yet. Now, git."

She was gone in the blink of an eye-maybe faster.

"What was that about?" asked Dean.

"You wanna go back to Hell?"

"Umm...no."

"Well, neither does she. And she hasn't been doing anything wrong that I can see. So, I gave her a helping hand. Now shut up, I need to listen."

They both fell quiet, their faces solemn. We didn't have to wait long. In the distance, I could see a little girl in a white dress (how very ironic), with a scowl marring her face. Beside her was the bleeding, now slightly decomposed, mother. What a fun sight.

I grinned. The show was about to start.

The boys fidgeted. "Uh, what do you plan doing about the twenty other demons?" Dean questioned, his gun drawn.

"Hold your horses. The fun's just starting!"

"It's creepy how you say that," Sam stated.

I laughed as Lilith yelled my name.

"Tracker!" She shouted, her eyes white. "What did you do?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Why, lil ol' me? I didn't do anything."

"Get rid of her!"

"Oh, you mean your mother? Why I almost didn't-"

"I don't have a mother," she snapped.

I smiled. "Oh, come on now. We both know you're lying, so you may as well tell the truth."

She shifted her posture, growling. "_Get rid of her_."

"Why? She's not hurting you. Unless, of course, you can't handle seeing the only person who ever loved you. Maybe it brings back the memory of how you left her in that burning building to die-from a fire _you_ had set."

"Shut up!" she snarled, coming closer.

I continued. "I mean, you can't get closer to Lucifer without murdering someone, and it's _so_ much better when it's an innocent, you know. And, boy, did you kill her. You burned her to a _crisp-"_

"I don't need you alive to end this, Tracker," she said, holding up her hands.

Sam held up his own, and I could feel power begin to bubble around him. He was going to ruin everything!

"Sam, stop," I ordered.

"She's going to kill you!"

I lowered his arm, my eyes never leaving Lilith's. "Don't worry."

She was too wrapped up about her mother, that she didn't notice I had stepped into the circle I'd made-the bones lying next to me.

"You _should _worry," she said. She flicked her wrist, trying to send me back. Nothing happened.

I laughed. "Silly Lilith, those tricks are for kids." I took out the vial of holy water I'd stashed away, uncorking it. With a small motion from my fingers, I sent the water out. It attached to Lilith, freezing over her meat suit. She tried to melt it, but to no avail. Her lips started to turn blue, her body covering in welts from the water. She hissed, steam mixing in the air surrounding her.

"You have one chance to give me both my grace and the pendant. One. After that, I will leave you here with your mother until someone comes along to help you."

She smirked. "I have twenty followers behind me. Go ahead, leave."

"You think I'd make it that easy?" I asked. "I'm hurt! I thought I had much more of a reputation than that." I stepped out of my circle, walking towards her. The snow crunched, my boots sinking into the frozen water. I smiled up at the demons, and then with a flick of my wrists threw them to the ground, locking shackles made of ice over their arms and feet. In the next moment, I grabbed the salt I'd made Dean bring and waved it around, watching as it formed a perfect circle around both Lilith and the other demons.

She thrashed about, trying to break free.

"Hand over the grace, Lilith."

"Go to Hell!"

"I've been there, had a good ol' time. Don't plan on going back though." I knelt beside her, reaching over and ripping my grace from the cord around her neck. As soon as I opened it, it slammed into me, knocking me backwards. I felt the boys catch me and hoped they'd shielded their eyes. It ran through me, my veins humming with power. That piece of my soul that had been ripped away filled, and I knew I was complete again.

Now, for the pendant.

I opened my eyes, seeing the world sharper than I ever could as a human. I could smell the snow, crisp and wet; could hear the sweat fall from the boys' face.

"Where's the pendant?" I asked.

She laughed, spitting at me as she glared. "It's nowhere you'll find it."

I tilted my head to the side, knowing she wasn't going to tell me. "All right." I stood up, walking away from her.

Sam came towards me, his eyebrows furrowed. "Whoa, we're not just _leaving, _are we?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I turned towards one of the followers, bending down next to the demon. He looked up at me, trying to conceal the fear in his eyes. "Do you know who I am?" I asked.

It shook its head.

"Then you know what I can do."

"Y-yes."

Ah. How nice it was to know I could strike fear in a demon's heart. I bent down even lower, my lips by its cheek. "I'll let you go if you tell me where she's hidden the pendant."

"Don't even think about it!" Lilith yelled.

It made to face her, but I grabbed its face, holding it still. "Don't look at her. Look at me. You have one chance. If you don't tell me, I'm going to rip your throat out and then send you straight to Hell."

He told me.

...

Dean opened the motel, heading straight for his bed. Sam stood by the door, running a hand down his face. "We should've killed her while we had the chance."

"Geez, you're trigger happy, ain't cha?" I teased, plopping down by Dean on the bed. I was dead tired.

"It was a perfect opportunity-"

"It wasn't the right time. Shut up, and stop whining about it." I threw the pendant on the table, sure I would hear the faint dull of angel's wings sooner or later.

"What now?" Dean asked.

"Now you go your way and I'll go mine."

"And...that's it?"

I nodded my head. "That's it. For now. Who knows, we might meet up again. It _is_ the end of the world, after all." I grinned, slapping him on the shoulder. "Don't look so grim! The good guys win, ya know."

"You don't know that."

"No. But, I have faith." I heard it, the tiniest flutter in the winter breeze. Cass. I stood, picking the pendant back up. "Ride's here." I kissed Dean on the cheek, winking when I saw him blush. "Faith is a good thing to have, Dean. And you're gonna need it. Here," I took out a piece of paper and scribbled down my cell number, "call me if you need me. I'll be here in a flash."

I waved goodbye to Sam and then stepped outside, smiling as soon as I saw Cass. "The pendant?" he asked.

"Ugh, all work and no play is gonna make Castiel a _very_ dull boy."

He looked at me. "I don't understand."

Sighing, I threw the pendant. "Yeah, I figured. Come on, I wanna be home before dawn."

He stepped towards me, opening his arms. I laid my head on his shoulder, my knees melting when he embraced me, his body warm. Then, he took flight, his beautiful black wings soaring through the night.

* * *

**a/n: sorry this took so long to get out. been busy with...just life in general. but i hope you guys like this update! it's not over, far from. next chapter will be up soon (: thanks so much for reading!  
Faith**


	7. VII

**Chapter 7-Stickin' Around**

**Three Weeks Later**

**...**

Ugh. Blood and brains were_ so _hard to get out of clothes. I tossed the ruined shirt into the garbage, cursing the entire demon race. When I turned around, there was a young man right in front of my face, cause me to jump. "Jesus, Sebastian!" I exclaimed, throwing a hand over my heart. "You trying to kill me?"

He grinned. "No-o-o, of course not!"

I rolled my eyes, stepping to the side and heading back up the stairs. Lady, my dog named after the movie Lady and the Tramp, growled as soon as she saw Seb, but the growl died almost immediately after. Even _she_ was getting used to him.

I'd found him haunting the house a demon was staying at. I'd gone in to kill the demon and left right away, not giving a thought to the ghost who'd watched the whole thing transpire. I hadn't noticed Sebastian had followed me until I was home and he said, _"I like you," _which practically made me piss my pants. Apparently, he was lonely in that house, and decided to follow me home-much like a lost puppy. It worked out though, 'cause he kept me company. It could get awfully lonely living my life.

"Isn't there a light for you to go into?" I teased.

He laughed, his blonde hair looking white in the daytime. "Good one! Now, when are you gonna finish telling me about this dish of an angel you're in love with?"

I was about to reply when I heard said angel land on my doorstep._ Hmm, that's strange. I'm not expecting him._ "Stick around and you'll get to meet him."

He smiled so wide I was sure he'd creamed his pants. If he could've, of course. Did I mention he was gay? Yeah, I laughed when I first found out too. A gay ghost. Puts a whole new spin on Casper, don't it?

I practically ran to the front door, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I threw it open, my excitement dying when I saw his face. "Cass, what's wrong?"

He stepped into the house, his wings going back into hiding. Sebastian stood there with wide eyes, speechless for once in his existence.

I put a hand on Cass' shoulder, worried about him.

"Uriel is dead," he began. "He was murdering angels, working for the other wide... And I'm worried that we aren't getting our orders from God anymore. I don't know what to do. Anna says I need to learn to think for myself...but I don't know if I can do that. I..." his voice trailed off. He looked lost.

Without waiting for him to say anything, I wrapped my arms around him-hugging him tightly. "I'm so sorry about Uriel; I know how close you two were."

He didn't say a word, but I felt his tears run down my skin.

For twenty minutes, he just let me hug him.

...

I pulled out two chairs, gesturing for Cass to have a seat. Then, I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down myself, wondering what to say that would put him at ease. Lady jumped onto my lap, her eyes on Cass. "Tell me what happened," I said.

He sighed, his gaze on the cherry colored table. "Angels in our garrison were being murdered. Originally, we thought it was a demon doing the killings. We captured Alistair, but couldn't get him to talk on our own. So...we enlisted Dean Winchester's help...he knew how to get Alistair to talk, or so we thought."

"You had Dean torture Alistair?" I asked, concerned about the brother's well being. "Are you sure that was a smart idea? I mean...Alistair would know exactly what buttons to press to cause Dean to doubt himself."

"Yes, he told Dean that he was the start of it all. The first sign. I can't get through to him."

I bit my lip, tapping my foot against the floor. "Do you know where the boys are now?"

"Yes. I'm keeping a close eye on them."

"Good." I stood, heading towards the stairs to my bedroom. "Tell me the rest of it in the car. We're going to take a little road trip."

"Thank you," he said, suddenly right behind me.

The close proximity made me flush, unable to speak clearly. "I-I'm just gonna go pack a bad. I'll be right...out." I scampered inside my room, cursing him for getting under my skin in ways only he could. There wasn't a damn thing I wouldn't do for that angel.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

...

It was raining, the sky above us dark and gloomy. I pulled into the motel parking lot, sighing. "You can't blame yourself, you know. You couldn't have known about Uriel."

Castiel stared straight ahead, not even blinking. "I should've seen something. Maybe then the others...wouldn't be dead."

I put a hand on his, squeezing slightly. "It's _not_ your fault."

He nodded his head, for once not shrugging my touch away.

"All right. Now, let's go see the boys." I hopped out of the car, ready to say something to him, only to discover Castiel was gone. "I still hate it when you do that!" I yelled. Rain pelted onto my skin and clothes as I ran towards the motel door, knocking almost immediately.

I could hear them move, talking in hushed voices, trying to figure out who was at the door. I rolled my eyes and said, "Hey, you oafs, open the damn door."

I heard Sam curse, and then the door opened, revealing their confused faces. "What are you doing here?" Sam asked.

"Nice to see you too, sunshine." I replied, stepping into the room.

Dean threw his gun on the bed, running a hand through his hair. "What do you need, Alista?"

I shrugged my shoulders, throwing my bag next to his weapon. "Oh, just thought I'd stop by. I heard about what happened. With Uriel and Alistair."

Sam glared at me, and I could tell he was gritting his teeth. "Yeah? Then you know your little _friend _Castiel almost got my brother killed."

"The trap Cass set was iron clad. You want to blame anyone, blame Uriel." I put my hands on my hips, meeting his stone gaze with one of my own. "I know you don't like me, Sammy, but you're just gonna have to get use to me."

"And why is that?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Because I'm stickin' around. Your brother needs help, and I-"

"I don't need help with anything," Dean cut in, shaking his head. "I can't do what they need me to do. They're just gonna have to find someone else-"

"They can't, Dean. If they could, they would. But guess what, it's you. All you." I broke away from Sam, heading towards Dean. "I know it's scary, and I know you feel like you can't do a damn thing." I laid a hand on his heart, feeling it thump underneath my fingertips. "But they brought you back for a reason. You're needed. Would your dad want you to back down?"

"My dad wouldn't have wanted me to fail in the first place," he said, a glossy sheen of tears showing in his eyes.

I moved my hand to his cheeks, smiling softly. I let a little of my grace through my fingers, watching as he visibly calmed. "Oh, Dean...you didn't fail anyone. You were strong._ Thirty years _you lasted! More than most mortals could. The strength that beats within you...you can't even think of how strong it is. I can feel it. I know you can do this. You just need a little...push."

He chuckled. "And that's why you're here? To be my push?"

I grinned. "You bet your ass." I removed my hand, choosing to envelope him in a hug. I felt him wrap his arms around me, and I took the weight of the world off his shoulders-placing all his fear and doubt into myself instead. For a moment, I drowned in the emotion, but I was able to suffocate it, killing it under my grace.

"Well, isn't this just a happy moment?" Sam said, rolling his eyes.

I turned to him, arching my brow. Walking close to him, I felt the power radiating from his body. "You're an ass, ya know that?"

He shrugged his shoulders, not saying anything.

I licked my lips, deciding not to say anything else. Not while Dean was in the room. So, I plopped down on the bed, grinning. "So, what's the latest job, hmm? What baddie are we hunting next?"

The brothers shared a glance. Then, Dean said, "We're after a vampire."

I clapped my hands. "Oo, they're fun! All right. It's late. Let's get some sleep and start bright and early in the morn."

"You're oddly cheerful," Sam told me.

"Yeah, well, try living for centuries upon centuries. You learn how to take shit lightly. And how lovely pants are. You know, wearing dresses all the time _really_ sucked. Especially in the 1700 and 1800's. My Lord, I wanted to kill myself. Corsets are a _bitch_."

The boys shook their heads. I think I was rubbing off on them, just a little bit.

I climbed beside Dean in the motel bed, arching a brow when I felt something hard press into my back. Dean reached over me, looking at me like I had three heads. "What?"

"Why, Dean, are you excited to see me?"

Sam laughed while Dean rolled his eyes. "It's my gun."

I frowned. "Oh. Well...that's disappointing. Hmm...goodnight!" I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of their steady breathing.

It was nice being around them. Sometimes, my existence was a lonely one...

* * *

**a/n: All right, an update. I've had this written for like, a week, I just was having trouble with the ending XD haha. I hope you guys like it! Umm, some things I'm meshing in from the show, such as Uriel's betrayal and the prophecy man is in next chapter (only mentioned). But, not everything will be in. Just so you guys know. I've got most of next chapter written, I just need to type it up. Let me know what ya think!  
Faith**


	8. VIII

**Chapter 8-Letting You Go**

**Two Weeks Later**

**...**

Plunging my heel into the demon's chest, I lifted my other foot off the ground, practically snapping its neck off with the force behind my kick. It hissed, its eyes pitch black. I smirked and said, "Oh, did I hurt you? I'm _so_ sorry."

Growling, it pushed itself backwards, landing on its feet like a cat. Impressive, but not enough to save its life.

Before it knew what was happening, I threw my hand into the wound my heel made. After muttering a few lines of Latin, my body grew warm-practically glowing. I could feel my grace slide down my arms to my fingertips, seeking out the demon in order to destroy it. I watched as the demon (and its host body) incinerated.

The ashes settled around me, some sticking to my clothes. Ew.

"And that, boys, is how you kill a demon." I smiled, turning to the Winchesters.

Both of them had their eyes wide open. "Wow...you're vicious," Dean said.

I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn't going to argue. It was true. "Ready to leave?" I asked. "I know I am."

While the boys were cleaning up, I headed outside. My body was on fire, my electrons abuzz from the energy I'd used to kill the demon. Outside, it was cold out, dousing the heat on my body down. I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply, focusing on the sounds around me. It was faint, but I heard the song of wings fluttering, and knew Cass was near. I turned, opening my eyes and smiling. "Cass, what are you doing here?"

He stepped into the moonlight, looking like the angel he was. Jesus, he was _gorgeous_. Those blue eyes just cut into me like a dagger. "How is Dean?"

"Good. You know, I haven't had a change to talk to you about last week."

He looked to the ground for a moment before facing me again. "Yes?"

I stepped closer to hi m, my arms across my chest and my dark hair blowing in the wind. "It was really good of you to help them...with Lilith and Mr. Prophecy. I'm sorry I missed it. Which, you know, _sucks_ seeing as how in all my centuries I've never met a prophet."

He cleared his throat, nodding his head. "Yes, well, Raphael needed you."

I licked my lips, wondering why there was heat in the air around me. My energy never transferred itself to the things around me, it just bubbled and brewed within me. So...why I could feel the particles of oxygen charging with a sort of electricity? "Yeah, harpies don't kill themselves and I am quite good at exterminating them. But, still...you're changing, Cass."

He was silent for a moment, then, "It scares me."

I smiled, putting a hand on his warm chest. "Oh, come on. You're still the same diligent little angel. Just...a little more of a free thinker."

The fingers I had on his chest grew warmer and I could practically feel the air snapping. It was then that I knew what was going on. I couldn't help but laugh. Cass thought he could hide it...but I knew.

He arched a brow and said, "What?"

Without thinking, I pressed my lips to his. I didn't move, instead choosing to memorize the feeling of his lips on mine. I could feel his grace tingling with my own. It was like they were mixing, bonding. Suddenly, my fingers were zapped, as if by a static shock-only bigger.

I pulled back, instantly massaging my burned fingertips. "If you wanted to kiss me, all you had to do was ask."

Castiel touched his lips, frowning slightly. "I...don't know what this is. My human host must enjoy your presence."

I shook my head. "No, no way are you going to weasel your way out of admitting how you feel by saying its your host. I felt your grace, Cass. Come on, we've been skirting around this for _eons_." I poked him, looking him straight in the eyes. "You, Castiel, Angel of God, are attracted to me, Alista. Half angel of God...ish."

For the briefest of moments, a bright blue light burned from his eyes, captivating me. And then he was gone. Typical.

Running a hand through my hair, I slid into the back of the Impala, waiting for the boys to finish up.

...

I watched in odd fascination as Dean chowed down on two bacon cheeseburgers. Man, that boy could_ eat_.

He pointed to my fries and asked, "You gonna eat those?"

I shook my head, pushing the plate towards him. Usually, I was hungrier after a kill, but right now, I was just a little nauseated. Weird.

'I picked up a coffee mug, the deliciously hot liquid sliding past my lips with ease. _Lips that can still feel Cass' kiss. Gah! I have to stop thinking about that! _

I was pathetic.

"Earth to Alista," Dean said, snapping his fingers.

I blinked, confused. "Huh?"

"I asked you what's wrong. You seem out of it. You sure that harpy scratch isn't giving you problems?"

I glanced at said scratch, the area around it bright pink from my incessant scratching. "Nope, it's just itchy from the salve I put on it. I burned any traces of harpy out." I sighed, blowing a piece of hair out of my face. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"Well, you'll have to sleep in the car," Sam said. His eyes were on his computer, a pensive look on his face.

"What do you mean? We can't be jumping into another job. We just finished this one." Dean spoke up.

"Tell that to the demons flocking into this town." Sam swung the laptop so we could read the article.

I took another drink of coffee, muttering, "Damn," as I read. Typical demonic signs were popping up all over this town.

"Usually demons are more careful," Dean observed.

"Which means they're either sloppy or they want someone to notice." I said.

"Which is more likely?" Sam questioned, though I'm sure he knew.

"Latter. The question we need to figure out is who." I leaned back, clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth. "Who do they want to see?"

Dean finished my fries and stood. "The only way we'll find out is by being there." He threw some dollar bills on the table for the waitress, as I'd already paid for the meal. "Let's go find out."

Damn. Guess I _was _gonna have to sleep in the car.

...

I was dreaming. I could tell because I was a) suddenly in the middle of a forest and b) there was a deer floating past me. Yup. I was dreaming. Or going insane; one of the two.

"You're dreaming," Cass said, stepping out from the shadows. He always made such dramatic entrances. Must've been an angel thing.

"All right. So... are you a dream Castiel or the real thing?"

He took a step towards me, the tan trench coat billowing around his ankles. "Which would you like me to be?" he asked.

Wow. What a loaded question. "Well, dream Cass lets loose a little more," I teased.

By the time I was finished talking, he was a mere inch from me. "It's me," he said.

"Okay," I whispered, wondering what he was going to do.

To my surprise, he kissed me. It was short, sweet, and _entirely_ real; for once it wasn't my imagination. Pulling back a centimeter, he told me, "I care about you."

My heart thumped in my chest like a madman. "I care for you, too."

"I don't know what to do."

I chuckled. "Well, that makes two of us. I never thought we'd be here...in this situation." I looked around, a slight mist was hovering at our feet and across the grass. "Speaking of here...where are we?"

"The in-between. The place where neither Heaven nor Hell can hear or see what happens."

Well...that was interesting. "Wow...I imagined it to be more...colorful. It's kinda drab."

"Yes, the Eden used to be far more beautiful than this."

I turned my attention to him, my jaw dropped. "Eden? As in garden of?"

He nodded his head.

I broke out of his embrace, walking around. I was in the garden of Eden...holy _shit_. "H-how is that possible?"

"After the Lord banished Adam and Even from the garden, he closed it, blocking it from any angel or demon. Turning a blind eye, he never knew when someone figured out how to get inside. And because he cloaked it-"

"No one knows what happens. Who's in here talking about what..." I knelt down, my head on my hands. This was nuts. "Wow," was all I could say.

"Are you all right?" he asked, standing behind me.

I threw him a glance over my shoulder. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...wrapping my head around everything." I held out my hand, smiling as he helped me to my feet. Running a hand through my hair, I exhaled. "So...is there any way we can listen in? Maybe...plant something that'll allow us to hear any conversations?"

"There are none that I know of."

"Damn." I bit my lip, scouring my brain for anything that might help. I came up empty. "Why did you bring me here?" I questioned, changing the question. What can I say, I was curious.

He was still, a blue light slithering above his skin. I noticed it on my own too. Uh-oh.

"Anywhere else, anyone could see us. But here-"

"No one would," I finished for him. Without realizing it, I was walking towards him.

He put a hand on my cheek. "Yes."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing my lips to his in a hungry kiss. I moved my hands down his back as the kiss deepened, smiling when I felt his wings shuddering underneath the human skin. There was nothing I wanted more than to feel those wings touch my bare skin...

Our graces slid together, heightening everything we felt.

Before things could go any further, I pulled back, my lips swollen from the activity. I gazed into his eyes, hating myself for what I was about to say. "If the only way I can be with you is secretly, by hiding and being ashamed, then...I can't be with you. No matter how much I want to be...I can't do that. I won't." I paused, searching for the right words to say. "What we feel for each other...it isn't _evil_. It's not wrong, or a sin. Angels already have feelings, like companionship. You saw how much it killed you to see Uriel die...how close you two were. Why can't angels love, too? I...I have no clue what to say." I sighed, closing my eyes.

Choosing a different route, I continued. "I know how much love the Lord. I would never ask you to put me before him, and I know you wouldn't. You can't. Caring for me is different than the love you feel for Him. Loving me would be different than loving Him. Does...does it _feel _wrong to you?"

"No," he answered, a light sheen coating his eyes. "Not at all, and that worries me. Because I don't want to fall from the Lord's graces."

I smiled. "If I was worried about that for a second, I wouldn't be here. I care for you far too much to see you lose the best part of you." Shrugging my shoulders, I added, "And if it's any consolation, I've slept with _a lot _of people and haven't been smited." _Yet_. "And I'm an angel too."

He didn't say anything. He just wore that contemplative look on his face, his eyes burning into mine.

I squeezed his hand, a tear sliding down my cheek. This was too hard for him. I couldn't make him go through this. "I know how difficult this is for you. And I don't want you to...if it'd be easier I can...let you go. We don't have to-"

He cut me off. "I don't want to let you go."

Oh...well...that was good news. "R-really?"

He smirked. "No. I haven't been watching over you for this long to just let you go now." He kissed me softly and said, "I'll think of something."

After that, I woke up. Adjusting to the sudden darkness, I sat up, my neck stiff. Well...that was a trip, wasn't it?

Sam was asleep in the passenger sleep. Dean looked like he was ready to collapse himself. "You want me to drive?" I asked, Cass' touch still all over me.

"Nah, but thanks."

"Yeah, no problem."

I leaned my head back, trying to focus not on Cass, but on what he'd told me. How could we listen in on a place that was blocked against that very thing?

I had a headache already.

* * *

**a/n: i love cass (:**


End file.
